


Black and White

by honeyMellon



Category: Bleach
Genre: Complete, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-06
Updated: 2012-12-06
Packaged: 2017-11-20 11:29:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/584933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeyMellon/pseuds/honeyMellon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyoraku Shunsui had always been something of an enigma to Juushiro. Women followed Shunsui everywhere, but while the man seemed to enjoy their company, there never was any particular woman who stayed by his side. Juushiro wondered what was it that drew the women to the man.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It wasn't until he woke up on the third morning that Juushiro finally believed that he had misunderstood the man. Keeping his breathing even and pretending that he was still asleep, Juushiro reflected on his thoughts about the man, and how the past three days had completely changed his world.

* * *

Kyoraku Shunsui had always been something of an enigma to Juushiro. Women followed Shunsui everywhere, but while the man seemed to enjoy their company, there never was any particular woman who stayed by his side. Juushiro wondered what was it that drew the women to Shunsui; was it his charming, easygoing smile, or was it his wavy, oh-so-touchable brown hair? Or perhaps it was the man's neatly trimmed goatee that accentuated his aristocratic features?

Even though Juushiro did not know Shunsui personally, he had heard a lot about him, and had crossed paths with him briefly during social occasions. The community of upper-class families in Soul Society was not large, and stories had the tendency to travel. The brown-haired young man was the second son of the high-ranking Kyoraku family, but ironically, despite his distinguished lineage, Shunsui avoided studying like the plague, which was somewhat of an embarrassment to his family. From what Juushiro heard, Shunshui's father was so frustrated with his son that he had enrolled Shunsui into the Shino Reijutsu Academy against the boy's will. Personally, Juushiro thought it was amusing, because he could not imagine anyone less suitable for the responsibilities of a shinigami than Kyoraku Shunsui.

Juushiro himself came from a lower class noble family. Being the eldest son with seven younger siblings, Juushiro did not have the luxury to shirk his duties. He, too, would be attending the Shino Reijutsu Academy the following year, except, unlike Shunsui, he was looking forward to it, and saw it as a first step of a prestigious career.

* * *

By the end of the first week at the academy, Juushiro was friends with almost everyone in his class. Lanky and friendly, Juushiro had always been popular, so he had blended in smoothly with his classmates. One of his classmates was Kyoraku Shunsui.

In person, the man was even more flamboyant than Juushiro had imagined. He was very generous with his smiles, and Juushiro noticed with a hint of amusement how their female classmates immediately flocked to him, seemingly worshipping the very ground he walked on. Shunsui appeared to revel in their attention, flirting and joking with all of them, neither rejecting nor favoring any.

What surprised Juushiro was, while Shunsui frequently missed theory-ladden classes, he always showed up for the _zanjutsu_ and _kido_ sessions, and he excelled in them. It was then that Juushiro realized that Shunsui was not lazy, he was simply... _picky_.

Seeing how different they were, Juushiro and Shunsui never really interacted one-on-one until that one day—the first time Juushiro had an attack at the academy.

The day began just like any other; students filed into their own classes, crowding hallways and filling rooms with eager chatter and laughter. But by lunchtime, Juushiro began to feel the familiar and dreaded discomfort of a possible coughing fit, the unfortunate symptom of his illness. He had been born a little sickly compared to his siblings, but with his powerful level of _reiatsu_ , he was able to go about his day-to-day activities just fine _most_ of the time. Sometimes, however, such as that day, he would be temporarily overcome by his illness.

He considered retiring for the day to rest in his dormitory room, but, not wanting to miss classes, he stayed. It was bearable, and just as he thought he would be able to scrape by without an actual attack, it happened.

It was during the _zanjutsu_ session. Juushiro stood on the training mat facing his sparring partner, chin-length black hair tucked neatly behind his ears and holding a _bokken_ , posed and ready in a fighting stance. The first few times he crossed swords with his partner was alright, then by the fifth or sixth blow, he began to have difficulty breathing. It felt as if the air suddenly became heavier, and his lungs could not get enough of it. The more he struggled to breathe, the harder it seemed, and soon the room was spinning around him, and he felt his throat tighten.

As his sparring partner watched on in horror, Juushiro collapsed onto his knees and began to cough. It started softly at first, then, as his throat seized up, it turned into a full-on coughing fit. The sounds came up from the depths of his throat, dry and raspy at first, then, as his shoulders shook, the coughs began to sound alarmingly wet.

He was vaguely aware of warm bodies surrounding him, hands holding his shoulders, patting his chest, but it made it even worse for him. He felt oppressed by the crowd, and even though he knew their attention was well-meaning, he wished they would just go away and leave him alone. Just as he was about to wave his arms to push them away, a deep, commanding voice said, "Stay away, give him space, for god's sake!"

There was shuffling of feet and murmured voices as people began to back away, then Juushiro felt a reassuring arm across his back.

He heard, dimly, a soothing voice telling him that he would be okay. Whomever that was, he—it was obvious a man judging from his voice—gave him just enough support to keep him upright, but gave him space and freedom of movement to ride out the rest of the fit.

As the last coughs left his throat, Juushiro felt the familiar warmth of blood flooding his mouth, and he could only lean helplessly against his savior as the crimson liquid trickled down his chin. He heard gasps of alarm amongst the crowd and looked up weakly. _It's okay, this is normal_ , he wanted to say, but he was so tired, so sleepy, and his throat hurt...

"Shhh..." the deep voice said next to his ear. Juushiro felt a piece of damp cloth on his face and mouth, then, he passed out.

* * *

When Juushiro opened his eyes, he found himself back in his room. It was dark, the curtains were drawn, so he had no idea what time of day it was. In fact, he didn't know what _day_ it was.

"Ah, you're finally awake," a sweet female voice said as Juushiro sat up. He looked towards the source of the voice. It was one of the many healers who tended to the students at the academy.

Before he could speak, the healer gave him a quick check-up, her manner brisk and professional. Finally, she pulled away and gave him a motherly smile. "Looks like you're going to live," she said.

Juushiro smiled weakly. Of course, this was just a minor fit, he had had much worse. He was not all that concerned about his own health at the moment, since he knew it was just a relatively mild attack. Instead, he was more interested to know who was the one who had helped him in class.

When he asked her, the healer gave him an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry," she said. "You were alone in this room when I arrived."

Disappointed, Juushiro gave her a grateful nod and lay back down to rest.

It wasn't until the fourth day that he was allowed to attend classes again. Ah, there, surrounded by concerned friends, he had no problem finding out who his savior was. To his surprise, he learned that it was Shunsui.

 _Kyoraku Shunsui?_ It was certainly unexpected. All the same, Juushiro went up to the man to thank him.

"Ah...it's nothing, really," Shunsui grinned up at him. As usual, it wasn't difficult to locate the man, one just needed to follow the sounds of girlish giggles. "Here, you can give me a kiss as a token of gratitude!"

Juushiro's face reddened in humiliation as the girls burst into laughter around him.

Shunsui caught his classmate's expression. "I'm just joking, don't be so serious!" he said light-heartedly, and the girls began to laugh again.

Nodding stiffly, Juushiro gave Shunsui a quick bow and left. _What a rude, tasteless man_ , he thought. He felt oddly disappointed that his savior turned out to be someone like Shunsui. In the haziness during the attack, the man had seemed more mature and confident. Well, Kyoraku Shunsui was confident alright, just not quite the kind that Juushiro respected.


	2. Chapter 2

Since that day, Shunsui seemed to have developed a disturbing interest in Juushiro. At first it was just a pleasant increase in frequency of hello-goodbye-how-are-yous when they cross paths, but eventually Juushiro started to notice that wherever he went, the brown-haired man always seemed to hover nearby, be it hallways, cafeteria—even the library!

It became annoying, because girls continued to follow Shunsui around, even when the man ignored them. Because of them, Juushiro had no problem knowing that he was being stalked—he had come to believe that _that_ was what Shunsui was doing. When he tried to study, he would be distracted by their voices, when he tried to rest, he would be awoken by their laughter. After a while, he couldn't take it anymore.

"Excuse me," Juushiro said, finally gathering enough courage to confront Shunsui in front of his female companions. "I don't know what you're trying to do, but can you please...stop following me?"

Shunsui's eyes held a mischievous gleam as he grinned. "Who says I'm following you?" he asked in a teasing voice. The girls immediately burst into giggles, some rolling their eyes at Juushiro mockingly. To make things worse, Shunsui simply winked at them, indirectly encouraging their behavior.

Juushiro fumed inside even though he kept a straight face. His shoulders shook slightly as he fought to stay calm; this was absolutely humiliating. "Then why are you always around me? You—and all of you—are distracting me from my work," he said, keeping his voice as steady and cold as he could.

"Well now," Shunsui's smile widened and he gave Juushiro a wink. "I know I'm good looking, but I didn't know I was good looking enough to distract even _you_." Then, as if he had made a funny joke, he burst into hearty laughter.

Juushiro fought down the sudden urge to punch the man in the face. Instead, he glared at Shunsui and said, "I don't see the humor in this. Please leave before I report you. _All_ of you."

The girls booed behind his back as Juushiro walked away, but they did leave.

If Juushiro thought that was the end of it, he could not be more wrong. The girls did leave, but much to Juushiro's chagrin, Shunsui continued to "stalk" him—alone. The man acted as if he was Juushiro's best friend and continuously tried to coax him into conversations.

"Look," Juushiro repeated, day after day. "I don't know you! I'm grateful for what you did for me when I was ill, but that's all. I have no interest in talking to you, so, please...please stop following me!"

Shunsui would then give him a hurt look. "Is that what you tell all your suitors?" he would ask innocently.

Yes, _suitor._ That term drove Juushiro up the wall. When Shunsui appeared alone for the first time, Juushiro was curious—and stupid—enough to ask him where his companions were. The man had laughed, loudly enough to draw stares, before he replied, "A suitor can't bring his fans along to court his love interest, can he?"

Juushiro had been mortified. He was convinced, then, that this man was utterly out of his mind. But no matter what he said—or did—Shunsui continued his attempts of "courtship". In the end, Juushiro gave up and decided to simply ignore the man.

* * *

At the end of the school year, Juushiro's classmates decided to throw a party to celebrate. All of them did very well in their examinations, mostly because of Juushiro's help. The man had the patience of a hundred men combined—except when it came to Shunsui, that is—and generously provided private lessons for classmates who needed them.

"Bring your best friend," said one of the boys who was in charge of organizing the party.

Juushiro frowned in confusion. "Best friend?"

The boy gestured to the corner of the wall. "That guy over there...Kyoraku something or other, I can never remember his name."

"He's not my best friend," Juushiro said immediately, eyes narrowing in annoyance.

His friend shrugged. "Whatever, just invite him if you want." Giving Juushiro a nod, he turned and left.

Juushiro secretly fumed. _Best friend?_ Well, he supposed he couldn't blame his classmate. Amazingly, for someone who wasn't exactly known for his perseverance, Shunsui had stuck by his side throughout the year. Over time, Juushiro had begun to relax around the man, and even enjoyed friendly chats with Shunsui now and then. Once he got to know Shunsui a little better, the man actually wasn't _that_ annoying. He was funny, intelligent, and surprisingly kind. Still, best friend? Juushiro felt rather insulted.

Looking at Shunsui out of the corner of his eyes, Juushiro debated whether to invite the man or not. Like it or not, Shunsui was his classmate after all. After a brief moment of hesitation, Juushiro walked towards his "suitor". To his chagrin, Shunsui was extremely fond of using that term to refer to himself. He always said it with a straight face, too! _Unbelievable._

"Shunsui," Juushiro said cooly as he walked up to the man. "There is going to be a party tonight. You're invited."

Shunsui raised an eyebrow in amusement at Juushiro's exaggerated cold tone, which he knew was reserved just for him. Other people would have been disheartened by that, but Shunsui actually felt delighted— _any_ special treatment was a special treatment. "I hope they have good sake," he said with a big grin.

Juushiro rolled his eyes. Yes, Shunsui and his sake. Juushiro had _never_ seen anyone who drank sake like Shunsui did. The man could outdrink anyone; he would get tipsy, but never drunk.

When the night rolled along, Juushiro and Shunsui arrived to find that the party was already in full swing. Naturally, Shunsui headed straight for the alcohol. Girls looked at him and smiled, but they had learned to stay away from him even though he never explicitly rejected their company. After all, what's fun about hanging out with a man—attractive as he may be—who would rather follow another man around despite being surrounded by women?

When Shunsui returned, he was holding so many bottles of sake that Juushiro wondered how he managed to carry them all.

"Help me out, will you?" Shunsui said, giving Juushiro a charming smile.

Sighing in exasperation, Juushiro helped Shunsui untangle himself from the bottles. One, two, three...Juushiro counted a total of seven bottles. A corner of his lips twitched—this was hardly enough to get the man buzzed. His half-smile turned into a scowl when he suddenly realized how well he knew Shunsui.

Shunsui snickered when he noticed the change of expression on his friend's face. "Have one," he said, sliding a bottle over to Juushiro.

Juushiro hesitated. Unlike Shunsui, his alcohol tolerance was rather dismal. Yet, as he looked around, he seemed to be the only one without a drink. "Sure," he said, accepting the bottle. Probably not the greatest idea given his health, but how wrong could it go?

* * *

"Oof—!" Shunsui grunted as he unwrapped Juushiro's arm from his neck. "You're heavier than I thought," he muttered to himself. Awkwardly, he managed to roll Juushiro onto the bed.

Getting Juushiro to drink was not his best decision on hindsight. Unlike Shunsui, who tended to get more excited and talkative when he drank, Juushiro became drowsy. Not even a full bottle later, the man began to fall asleep. And that's how Shunsui ended up having to carry his friend back to the dormitory.

After a few nudges and tugs, Shunsui finally got Juushiro tucked in nicely under the covers. Satisfied that his friend was comfortable, he took a step back and took a better look around Juushiro's room. It was sparsely decorated, very neat, just as he had expected. Shunsui's own room was a mess, "organized" in such a way that only he knew where his things were kept.

Leaning back against Juushiro's desk, Shunsui crossed his arms over his chest and looked at his sleeping friend. The room was dim, the curtains half-drawn, the only source of light being the soft moonlight from outside. Juushiro features looked especially delicate in the semi-darkness, and Shunsui found himself staring at the man's lips. For a split second, he wondered what it would feel like to kiss those lips. They would be soft, he supposed, soft and moist, perhaps not very warm, given how Juushiro seemed to be constantly cold due to his illness.

Before he knew it, he was next to the bed, reaching out a hand towards Juushiro's face. His finger brushed his friend's lips, and the light touch jolted him out of his daydream. Shocked at what he had done, Shunsui backpedaled away from the bed so quickly that he almost crashed into a chair. Gripping the back of the chair, he stood there, heart pounding and breathing heavily. What was he thinking?

Shunsui wasn't lying when he told Juushiro that he was his suitor. He knew that Juushiro didn't believe him, but he really did admire the man. There was nothing unappealing about Juushiro—physically, he was stunning; he wasn't broad-shouldered, nor was he especially muscular or bulky, but he was tall, lean, and graceful. What Shunsui found most captivating of all, though, was his green eyes. Those emerald green eyes were exceptionally wise for Juushiro's age, always bright, friendly, full of laughter. Shunsui sighed even as a small smile crept onto his face. Those eyes always were always narrowed when Juushiro talked to him, filled with just a touch of annoyance, but also with amusement and curiosity. _He doesn't know what to make of me_ , Shunsui thought.

He didn't blame Juushiro; he knew he was being an ass, a damn creepy one, too. It may _seem_ like a random act to Juushiro, the way Shunsui suddenly began to latch onto him after his coughing fit, but the truth was, Shunsui had always had a thing for him from the beginning, even before Juushiro knew of his existence. There never was an opportunity to get to really know the man, though, so Shunsui just let himself simmer in what he was certain would be a lifelong unrequited crush. Then his father went and enrolled him into this stupid academy. Shunsui was ready to run away from home, but then he accidentally overheard his parents mention that the eldest Ukitake son was also going to the school. At the same time, too! _That_ was the only reason Shunsui was here.

He had heard of Juushiro's illness, but seeing it in person still shocked him to the core. Afterwards, he had taken a day of absence from school and gone to the Ukitake residence. There, he learned all about Juushiro's illness—what to do when an attack happened, what medication to use, and a ton of other information that he carefully filed away in his mind. From then on, he vowed to keep Juushiro close by his side.


	3. Chapter 3

Kyoraku Shunsui had a problem.

He was suave, good looking, charismatic, confident, smart, fit, funny, and he was popular, especially among women. He found it amusing how they flocked to him even though he never _did_ anything to trigger their interest, and for that he was flattered. It was fun being the center of attention, and over the years, Shunsui learned how to put his charm and sense of humor to good use, and became notorious for his flamboyant nature.

But he had a problem. He had gotten so used to this lifestyle now that he didn't know how else to behave around people. For the most part that had served him well, because there was never a need to do anything differently, until he met Juushiro. To his dismay, the same tactics that had been so successful in impressing people in the past only managed to get him completely opposite results. If anything, all he had managed to do was convince Juushiro that he was an idiot.

It wasn't that he had any difficulties telling the man that he liked him; he didn't have any qualms about being direct, nor did he feel embarrassed about it. Quite the opposite, in fact, he had made it clear from the beginning that he was interested.

He supposed it wasn't surprising that Juushiro didn't believe him. It wasn't like he'd ever given Juushiro the impression that he was capable of doing—or saying—something serious.

 _Ahh...what to do, what to do_ , Shunsui made one of his rare frustrated faces as he tapped his chin with a finger. As the night wore on, he began to feel tired, so he sat down in Juushiro's chair and slumped forward, resting his arms and head on the desk, repeating the same _what to do, what to do_ question in his mind. Before long, he was snoring away.

* * *

When Juushiro opened his eyes, he was surprised and relieved to find himself back in his own room. Blinking, he slowly sat up, rubbing the back of his neck, and tried to remember what happened the night before. A lump of clothes was carelessly dumped on his chair, and he wondered absent-mindedly when he had forgotten to put his dirty clothes into the laundry hamper...then his eyes snapped open. The "lump" was moving! The movement was subtle, slow and steady, up...and down...and up...and down... Rubbing his eyes, Juushiro realized that the "lump" was actually a man, and the movement was simply the man's shoulder rising and falling in time with his breathing.

_Shunsui!_

Looking back now, Juushiro's first reaction was hilarious—his hand flew to his body to make sure that his uniform was intact. You never know; Shunsui was a creepy guy, and he _had_ been stalking him... To his relief, everything seemed to be in place, there were no unexplained bruises or scratches, no sticky residue, and his _obi_ was tied securely around his waist. Satisfied that he had not been violated in his sleep, Juushiro stood up and walked up to Shunsui.

"Oi," he said, poking the sleeping man on one shoulder blade. When Shunsui did not respond, Juushiro poked again, much harder this time. The reaction was priceless. Shunsui's head snapped up abruptly, and Juushiro could actually hear the man's joints pop from the sudden movement.

"Oww!" Shunsui groaned, massaging his stiff and sore muscles. But he perked up the minute he saw Juushiro. "How are you feeling?" One side of his face was red and creased from being pressed against his arm for the entire night, and his hair stuck out in a funny angle on one side.

Juushiro couldn't help snickering, but, not wanting to show that he was too friendly, he did his best to hold back. Still, one corner of his mouth twitched, so he hastily covered it with one hand. "What are you doing here?"

Shunsui stretched his long arms and yawned dramatically. "I dragged your ass back here after the party," he said, putting on his best I'm-hurt face.

"Well, I'm fine now, so get _your_ ass back to your own room," Juushiro said, trying hard not to laugh. He wanted to sound cold, but he was already having enough trouble keeping a straight face as it was.

"Aww," Shunsui grumbled with a playful smile. "You're not going to invite me to stay for breakfast?" He twisted his body and winced. Judging from the aches and pain he was feeling all over his body, he felt more like he had just fought a battle rather than having slept at a desk.

Juushiro caught his expression and—much to his own annoyance—smiled. He immediately straightened and turned away from Shunsui. Opening a drawer, he dug around in it and found what he was looking for.

"Here," Juushiro said, throwing a small bottle at Shunsui, who caught it deftly despite being taken by surprise.

Shunsui took a quick look at the label and whistled. "This is really expensive!" he said, holding up the bottle of massage oil.

Rolling his eyes, Juushiro said, "It's not a present, so don't forget to give it back after you're done with it." His lips began to twitch again, and it took all his willpower not to laugh at the stupid grin on Shunsui's face. Seriously, the man looked so giddy that you'd think that Juushiro had just kissed him.

"Thank you, my love!" Shunsui said, finally standing up. Juushiro balked, and Shunsui burst into laughter at his reaction. "I'm just kidding," he said, giving his friend a wink. "Seriously, Juushiro, you have no sense of humor!" And with that, he gave an exaggerated bow and waltzed out of the room.

Once the door was closed, Juushiro leaned his back against it and finally allowed himself to chuckle out loud. _That man, he will be the death of me._

* * *

Much to Shunsui's delight, that incident seemed to have broken some sort of barrier between them. He would like to think that his message had finally gotten through, but he knew that was wishful thinking. He noticed that whenever he mentioned "suitor", or "love", or anything remotely related to how he felt about Juushiro, his friend would immediately clam up and give him the cold shoulder, so he'd learned to steer clear of the topic. Other than that, though, the two of them got along just fine.

Then, just as Shunsui was feeling hopeful that they were beginning to have a semblance of a normal friendship, the incident happened.

* * *

The second year at the academy was when pressure began to escalate significantly. Classes were more challenging, training sessions became more intense. Juushiro felt himself stretched thinner, both mentally and physically.

He had not had an attack since that first one during the _zanjutsu_ session almost a year ago. He wasn't sure if it was because his health had simply improved as he became stronger, or whether it was his medication that kept his illness under control. Juushiro had a love-hate relationship with his medicine—without it, he was constantly at risk of an attack, but _with_ it, he was held back. While the signs were not obvious, one of the side effects of the herbs was that it made him slightly weaker, preventing him from unleashing his full potential. The medicine forced a portion of his _reiatsu_ to form a protective shield of some sort to contain his illness, and it frustrated him to know that this energy could've been used for more productive things.

So, when he began to feel that he was underperforming in classes, he did the unthinkable—he stopped taking his medication.

When it struck, Juushiro was completely unprepared. He had been off his medication for almost a month now, and he had felt fine the entire time. The fact that he felt no different without the medicine actually infuriated him, because it meant that he had been held back unnecessarily all along.

It happened during the _kido_ training session. They were taking turns practicing mid-level spells at paper targets, and by the time the class was almost over, each of them had gone through at least three rounds. Shunsui was in front of him in line, and when it was the man's turn again, Shunsui stood up and gave Juushiro a thumb's up before moving in place. As usual, his execution of the spell was flawless. As Shunsui walked towards the back of the line, Juushiro's turn arrived.

Staring at the target far away, Juushiro concentrated and summoned his _reiatsu_. This was his fourth turn, and he was beginning to feel the first wave of exhaustion. His vision blurred a tiny bit as he gathered his strength, then just as he was about to say the incantation, a sharp pain shot through his chest.

Immediately, he sank to his knees, coughing and gasping as he fell. Even before his knees touched the ground, the sounds being torn from his struggling lungs took on a sickly wet tone, and blood bubbled up into his mouth from the back of his throat. His eyes widened in shock. He never coughed up blood that quickly, and that was when he realized with a sinking feeling that this was serious. He wanted to call for help, but his body went into spasms and he could barely breathe, much less talk.

His classmates backed away, remembering what Shunsui had asked them to do last time.

"Juushiro!" Shunsui pushed through the crowd and managed to catch his friend right before he collapsed onto the ground.

Juushiro could only look at his friend through glassy eyes as he continued to cough. Blood had begun to flow from his mouth, not the little trickle like last time, but flowing down his lips as if it was from a deep cut. He heard a distant voice calling for a healer—it was strange, because he could see Shunsui's mouth moving and knew that the voice was Shunsui's, but the voice was muffled and distorted as if Shunsui was miles away.

"Stay awake!" Shunsui tightened his grip around his friend's shoulders, feeling a stab of panic as Juushiro's eyes began to slide close. "No, no, no, keep your eyes open, damn it!"

 _Heh, he actually looks genuinely upset_ , Juushiro thought as his vision began to darken. _I think he really cares about me. Unbelievable._ His lips curled up in a smile at the thought, then he closed his eyes.

* * *

The next few days were a blur. Juushiro slipped in and out of consciousness, showing no sign of improvement even after being force-fed his medication.

Shunsui stayed by Juushiro's side, stubbornly refusing to budge even when urged by the healers. His friend looked deathly pale, and were it not for the steady rise and fall of his chest, Shunsui would've thought that Juushiro had died.

"Kyoraku-san," one of the healers said, patting Shunsui's back gently so as to not startle the man. "You should eat something." She held out a bun and pressed it firmly into Shunsui's palm.

Shunsui stared down at the bun. When was the last time he ate? He couldn't remember. The last thing he remembered was the smile on Juushiro's face right before the man slipped into unconsciousness. He had looked right at Shunsui when he smiled, but Shunsui had no idea what that meant. It could just be a muscle spasm for all he knew. Regardless, it lingered on his mind.

The healers said it was bad. They had summoned Juushiro's personal healer who had overseen the boy's sickness throughout his childhood, and even he was not optimistic. Without his medication, Juushiro had essentially stripped himself of the only protection he had against his illness, and there was nothing they could do about it except hope that his body would eventually respond to the medicine that they're giving him now.

Shunsui chewed on the bun numbly. It didn't taste like anything, and it made his mouth dry. After a few bites, he tossed it carelessly onto the table next to him. He wasn't hungry anyway.

* * *

Clouds. Murmured voices. Shunsui. Those were the only things Juushiro knew as he swam in and out of darkness. He couldn't really tell if he was truly conscious or if he was just dreaming.. Through the haze, he thought he heard Shunsui's voice—talking to the healers, mumbling to himself, murmuring encouraging words to him.

 _You sound horrible_ , he wanted to tell Shunsui. If he could, he would chuckle, because he remembered his friend's worried face as he lay in his arms. _You look funny when you frown,_ he wanted to say. _You sound weird when you're not joking, is that why you joke all the time?_ He wished he could ask, he wanted to hear the answers. Why hadn't he thought of asking before?

He knew Shunsui touched his hair sometimes. It felt nice, and he smiled inside even though he knew Shunsui wouldn't be able to see it. Shunsui's hand was big and firm, and it sometimes brushed against his cheek, and that felt good too. It was reassuring to know that his friend was by his side.

Once, he was conscious enough to open his eyes. Shunsui was immediately there, clutching his arm and yelling for healers. He saw, vaguely, his friend being pushed to the side as healers crowded around him, feeling his forehead, his arm, his chest. He wanted to reach out and tell Shunsui that he was okay, but he was too tired.

When Shunsui was finally allowed to return to his side, the man looked as if he was going to cry. In fact, Juushiro thought he actually did, because as Shunsui's face hovered above his, he thought he felt droplets of water land on his cheek. He wasn't sure, though, but he made a mental note to ask when he recovered. Yes, he had a lot of things to ask Shunsui. With that in mind, he drifted off into darkness again.

* * *

Juushiro wasn't sure how long it had been, but the next time he was aware of his surroundings again, he knew he had broken through the haze completely. His ears picked up soft rustling of fabric and he sensed that someone was nearby. He recognized that person's _reiatsu_ at once—it was Shunsui.

Before he even realized it, he held his breath. _He's here._ _How long has it been? Has he been here the entire time?_ Then, _why am I so nervous?_

Juushiro was finally awake, but he kept his eyes closed, continued to breathe evenly, and thought about Shunsui.


	4. Chapter 4

"Hmm, when are you gonna stop pretending to be asleep?" a deep, cheerful voice asked.

Blushing slightly at being caught, Juushiro cracked open an eye and found himself staring into Shunsui's smiling face. The man was crouched next to the mattress and was bent over Juushiro, face hovering just inches away.

Shunsui's smile widened when he saw Juushiro open his eyes. "Well, you look much better today," he said. Juushiro heard the unmistakable trace of concern and relief in the man's voice. "The healers will be here to check on you in a couple of hours."

"How long—" Juushiro began to ask, his voice raspy.

"Three days," Shunsui replied, having already guessed what his friend was going to say. "But it looks like today's the last day, I think your medicine finally kicked in. And speaking of which..." He turned away, then returned with a cup, a bottle, and a spoon.

Juushiro immediately wrinkled his nose.

Shunsui's eyebrows arched in amusement, and he chuckled. Placing the mug of piping hot water in Juushiro's hands, he flipped open the bottle cap and tipped it over the spoon. His movements were so fluid, so natural, as if he had been doing it for ages. "Here," he said finally, bringing the spoon up to Juushiro's lips.

Juushiro hesitated. It seemed rather...undignified...to be fed like this, but at the same time he also did not trust his weak hands to accept the spoon without spilling its content.

Shunsui sensed his friend's hesitation and smiled kindly. "Don't be silly now," he said, nudging Juushiro's lips with the spoon. "You've been taking the medicine like this for the past three days, you can do it one more time. After this, it's all yours."

Juushiro blushed and looked at Shunsui uncertainly, but found only sincerity in the man's smile, so, after another brief pause, he finally nodded and parted his lips. Shunsui was extremely gentle; the spoon slid in smoothly, and Juushiro had no problem swallowing the bitter herbal concoction.

"Do you wanna take a bath?" Shunsui asked as he withdrew the soiled spoon and secured the lid of the bottle.

"Yes please," Juushiro replied, suddenly aware that the thin robe he was wearing—he figured it must be the kind issued by the healers—was stuck to his sweaty skin. Unconsciously, his face flushed red once more as he realized how dirty he must be. Goodness...he must smell quite terrible, too!

Shunsui's smile returned as he took in Juushiro's horrified expression. "Nah, you're in pretty good shape," he said, wiping the residue of the medicine from his hands. "I cleaned you up a little bit."

Juushiro's mouth fell open in shock. What! Shunsui did what?

"No! No!" Shunsui clarified hastily. "I didn't bathe you or anything, I just wiped your face and a little bit of your neck and chest, that's all! I didn't see anything, I swear!" His face turned pink as he stuttered in embarrassment.

Juushiro couldn't help laughing at his friend's reaction, and Shunsui soon joined, adding his booming laughter to the mix. It felt good to laugh along with Shunsui, Juushiro realized. Why hadn't he felt this way before?

"Here." Shunsui offered his arm to Juushiro, who took it gratefully. With a grunt, Shunsui helped his friend to his feet, then, on slightly wobbly legs, Juushiro let Shunsui guide him to the bathroom.

When he entered, Juushiro was immediately greeted by an unexpected sight in the mirror. "My hair!" he gasped, his hands flying to grasp his chin-length, _formerly_ raven-black hair. It was now an even, snowy-white shade. Juushiro ran his fingers through his hair in disbelief. How—? Then he felt the weight of another hand raking through the white strands.

"It began to turn white on the second day," Shunsui said gently. "This attack had been a terrible strain on your body." His heart ached a little at the look of dismay on his friend's face. The man had always been slim, but now he looked gaunt, his jawline and cheekbones more prominent than before.

"So fast..." Juushiro whispered, staring at his own reflection in the mirror. It looked strange; his hair was completely white, but his eyebrows were still their original black color. It was as if he was wearing a wig.

"But hey!" Shunsui said cheerfully, gripping Juushiro's shoulder reassuringly. "Now you're _truly_ Shiro-chan!"

Juushiro couldn't help smiling. That's true... For once, he appreciated Shunsui's sense of humor. On further inspection, white was not _that_ bad...

"Can you do it by yourself?" Shunsui asked, placing a towel next to the tub, which was just beginning to fill with warm water.

Juushiro eyed the tub apprehensively. His legs felt terribly weak...but what other choice did he have? He could feel Shunsui's concerned gaze on him and felt compelled to reassure the man. "I'll be fine," he said, hoping that he sounded more confident than he felt.

Shunsui offered his hand for support, and once again Juushiro accepted. Raising his right knee, Juushiro carefully stepped over the side of the tub. Once he had a good foothold inside, he brought his left leg over. The bottom of his robe immediately became soaked as it was dipped into the water. Shunsui instinctively reached out with his free hand to grab the garment and pull it upwards, away from the water.

"Hey—!" Juushiro yelped in alarm, his free arm flying to pull the robe tighter around himself.

Shunsui's face immediately flushed a deep red when he realized what he had done. "S-sorry!" he said, withdrawing his hand with a look of horror and embarrassment on his face.

Feeling a little silly by his own overreaction, Juushiro said quickly, "No, no, it's fine." Then, he stood there awkwardly as he pondered what to do next. He needed to get into the water, obviously sans robe, but Shunsui was still standing there.

It took a few seconds for Shunsui to understand why Juushiro was standing motionless in the tub. "Err, my bad," he said. He started to turn around to leave, but then realized that Juushiro was still holding on to his hand for support. "Uhh..."

Juushiro raised his eyebrows in confusion.

"I, uhh, kinda need my hand." Shunsui wiggled the hand that was supporting Juushiro.

Now it was Juushiro's turn to blush. Letting go of Shunsui's hand, he wobbled a bit on his feet, then straightened up and smiled at his friend. "I think I'll be okay," he said.

Shunsui returned the smile and turned to leave, even though he felt uneasy after seeing Juushiro's unsteady stance. The tub was slippery, and once Juushiro added soap, it was only going to get even more slippery. What if he—?

Sure enough, even before Shunsui got two feet away from the tub, he heard a surprised cry followed by the sound of splashing water and squeak of wet tiles. Whipping around immediately, he was just in time to catch his friend from what would have been a nasty fall.

"Woah," Shunsui said, unable to hide the relief in his voice. "Could've cracked your skull there."

A little shaken from the close call, Juushiro clung onto Shunsui's arm and bent over to catch his breath. He didn't notice that the thin sash that held his robe closed had been loosened by his sudden movement when he nearly slipped.

But Shunsui definitely did. He didn't mean to look, but he just happened to lower his head slightly, and there it was—he got a good view of Juushiro's pale legs and... Shunsui's eyes widened a little at the sight, then he immediately clenched them closed. Playful and bold as he was, he wasn't the type who liked to take advantage of people.

Juushiro noticed his odd expression and automatically looked down at himself. It only took him a second to see what Shunsui had seen, and he wished he could drop dead right then and there. "Sorry," he said gruffly, pulling his robe around him with one hand. Now, this was awkward. He needed his privacy to bathe, yet he obviously wasn't safe being in here alone. _What to do, what to do?_

Shunsui broke the silence. "How about I sit...here?" He pointed to a low wooden stool next to the wall. "If you don't mind, that is." When Juushiro looked at him hesitantly, he added, "I won't look, I swear."

Juushiro bit his lips to stop himself from snorting out in laughter. The two of them looked at each other, both with weird expressions—Shunsui all flustered with uncharacteristic embarrassment, and Juushiro trying hard not to laugh. Then, finally, Juushiro couldn't hold it in anymore, and a choked giggle slipped from his lips.

"Well, I'm glad one of us thinks this is funny," Shunsui commented dryly, feeling a bit indignant.

"I'm sorry," Juushiro said between chuckles. "Sure, go ahead, I don't mind."

Relieved, Shunsui let go of his friend's hand and went to sit on the stool. In his haste to cover up his awkwardness, he simply sat down where the stool faced, which meant he had his right side facing Juushiro. Obviously not used to being in such an odd situation, Shunsui looked tense and uncomfortable.

Juushiro was torn between laughing and crying as he stood there. Shunsui's head was bowed, and as Juushiro watched, he began to fidget, clenching and unclenching his fists and tapping his feet. Juushiro opened his mouth to ask Shunsui to turn around so that he would sit with his back towards Juushiro, but at the last minute he decided not to say anything. The man was already embarrassed enough, the request would only make him feel worse. _And he promised not to look_ , Juushiro consoled himself. Feeling slightly better after that thought, Juushiro slowly slipped the robe off his shoulders. Still, he wasn't used to being naked with someone else in the room, so he unconsciously turned his back towards his friend.

Shunsui was absolutely mortified at himself. What happened to the cool, confident Shunsui? How many times had he fumbled since Juushiro woke up? What was he thinking, grabbing the man's robe like that? And good god, he had just eye-raped his friend! Granted, it wasn't like he did it on purpose, but he felt just as guilty because—he blushed and looked down at himself—his body had reacted in a way that he was certain Juushiro would not appreciate. Feeling horribly self-conscious, he shifted his weight to make sure his tent was well covered. As he moved, he caught a flash of white out of the corner of his eye, and— _he couldn't help it, he just couldn't help it_ —he turned.

Shunsui's mouth fell open. Juushiro was standing in the tub with his back towards Shunsui, completely bare, folding his robe carefully. Shunsui's pulse quickened as he watched his friend's back—even from behind, Juushiro was a perfect picture of curves and grace, and Shunsui stared sinfully as the lean muscles flexed underneath the pale skin.

 _What are you doing?_ Shunsui's inner voice asked in mock innocence, jolting Shunsui out of his reverie. _Shit! I promised not to look!_ Feeling guilty and disgusted at himself, Shunsui turned around to face the wall, heart thumping erratically in his chest.

Oblivious to his friend's inner turmoil, Juushiro sighed in contentment as he slid into the water. The temperature was just right, and the level of the water was perfect. He felt his stiff muscles relax, and, with another happy sigh, he leaned his head back, dipping the ends of his hair into the water. For a moment, he forgot that he was not alone, and began to hum.

Shunsui hid his grin by covering his mouth with a fist. Who would've thought that Juushiro _hums_ while he bathes? It was completely out of tune, too.

 _Oh god, this is pure torture_ , Shunsui groaned inwardly. The object of his desire was right there— _naked, no less_ —and he wasn't allowed to look, and now he wanted to laugh at Juushiro's terrible grasp of music so badly that he thought his chest was going to burst. And to rub it in, the tent between his legs showed no sign of going away; it was as if his body was mocking him. _What have I done to deserve this?_

The sounds of splashing water from the tub sent Shunsui's imagination into overdrive. _I must not look, I must not look, I must not look_ , Shunsui chanted in his mind, clenching his eyes closed. _I must not look, I must not look, I must not look..._


	5. Chapter 5

Juushiro took his sweet time, humming happily as he slathered himself with soap. It wasn't everyday that he had the luxury to take a bath like this—usually he was so busy that a quick shower was all he could afford. The warm water felt so good on his skin that he couldn't help but let out an appreciative moan as he rinsed his arms.

As the water trickled down his arm and dripped back into the tub, he was suddenly aware of a soft tapping sound. Turning his head, he remembered with a start that he wasn't alone. The little tune that he was humming died in his throat when he realized with horror that he had forgotten that Shunsui was there, and that Shunsui had obviously heard every sound he'd made. For a split second all he heard was the sound of blood rushing to his face, and he wanted nothing more than to be able to hide under the water…forever.

After the initial shock of embarrassment, Juushiro began to calm down, and to his surprise, noticed that he could still hear the tune that he'd been humming. _Shunsui!_ Juushiro realized in amusement that his friend had unconsciously picked up his tune and had been humming along with him, even tapping his feet in time with the tune. Apparently lost in his own thoughts, Shunsui appeared to not even notice that he was now humming all by himself.

Juushiro found himself staring at Shunsui. Now that he came to think of it, he had never really _looked_ at Shunsui before. Sure, he knew what Shunsui looked like, but had never noticed that Shunsui's hair curled outwards more than inwards as it reached his collar, nor had he ever noticed that Shunsui had grey eyes. And now, as he stared, he saw the dark shadows under his friend's eyes, the unkempt stubble which overwhelmed his usually neat goatee, and realized that the attack that left him bedridden for three days had affected more than just himself. He felt a sudden rush of affection for Shunsui, the man whom he had taken for granted for so long. He thought back of the late nights when they both stayed up to study, how Shunsui always seemed to know when he was hungry or thirsty, and how he knew exactly which kind of _ohagi_ and tea to bring to their study sessions.

 _And all this time I thought he was a nuisance_ , Juushiro thought, feeling guilty. _And I never believed him._ How many times had Shunsui told him about his feelings? More than he could count, certainly, but how many times had he really paid attention? _Not even once_. It just never occurred to him that Shunsui really was telling the truth.

As he pondered his changed perception of his friend, he absent-mindedly ran his soap-slicked palm across his chest. The delicate touch of his own fingers, coupled with the thoughts of Shunsui that were running through his mind, made him shudder, and he unconsciously made a soft sound—a mix of a contented sigh and a moan.

A sudden clearing of throat surprised him so much that the little bar of soap slipped out of his hand and disappeared into the bubbly water.

"Do you always take so long to bathe?" Shunsui asked, keeping his face turned away from Juushiro. He'd been feeling rather proud of himself for being able to sit there quietly, but that last moan had gone straight to his groin, and he seriously could not stand it anymore. He was aching so much down there that it was all he could do to not whimper out loud. What he wanted to do right now was to run to his own room and quickly take care of himself, but he couldn't leave Juushiro alone.

Juushiro froze, suddenly aware that he had been daydreaming about the man who was sitting not five feet away from him.

"You okay?" Shunsui asked, feeling a little alarmed when he was greeted by a stretch of silence. But he resisted the urge to turn around to check on his friend.

"Y-yes," Juushiro stammered, his cheeks burning in embarrassment. He hastily rinsed off as much soap as he could from his upper body and picked up the towel. Water sloshed around the tub as he stood up to wipe himself. Thin rivulets of water ran down his body; the ticklish sensation sent chills down his spine, and he shuddered, letting out a breathy moan in the process.

 _Somebody please help me_ , Shunsui groaned inside.

"That felt really nice," Juushiro said, finally stepping out of the tub with the towel wrapped tightly around his body.

"Yeah, I can tell," Shunsui said dryly. _For you. Not so great for me._

Juushiro blushed at the comment, assuming that his friend was annoyed that he took so long. "Sorry," he said, giving Shunsui an apologetic look.

Shunsui realized how rude he must've sounded. "I didn't mean it that way," he said hastily. _You have_ no idea _what I meant._ Then with a dejected sigh inside, _and you probably don't want to know._

Juushiro noticed the sombre expression that looked so foreign on Shunsui's usually-cheerful face and felt even more guilty. Shunsui must be bone-tired taking care of him for so long, yet he had been so inconsiderate, spending such a long time enjoying himself soaking in the tub.

Water dripped from Juushiro's body as he got out of the tub, creating little puddles on the tiled floor. Remembering his dirty robe, he bent down to pick it up, then, with one hand holding the dirty robe away from his body and the other hand pressing the towel against his body, he carefully made his way towards the door.

Shunsui kept a wary eye on Juushiro as the pale man navigated across the wet floor. "Here, give me your robe," Shunsui said, reaching out to help. He took a step towards Juushiro, and stepped right into a puddle. His right foot immediately slipped, and he flailed his arms in a desperate attempt to grab onto something to break his fall.

Juushiro's eyes widened in alarm as Shunsui began to fall, and instinctively reached out to catch Shunsui's outstretched arm. His managed to wrap his hand around his friend's wrist, but the momentum from Shunsui's falling body was too great, and Juushiro found himself being tugged forward. The sudden movement, along with the fact that he had grabbed Shunsui with the hand that had been holding his towel, caused his towel to loosen and slip off his body. In a panic, Juushiro attempted to grab his towel, and in the process, stepped into another puddle.

With a yelp from Juushiro and a grunt from Shunsui, the two of them went down in a tangle of limbs and cloth. Juushiro chest protested as the air was knocked out of his lungs when he landed on his back, then, before he could even take a breath, Shunsui landed on him, and Juushiro found himself staring into a pair of frantic grey eyes.

For a moment it was as if time were suspended; they lay there face-to-face, bodies crushed against each other, both breathless from the tumble, and looked at each other with wide, shocked eyes. Their faces were barely five inches away from one another, and they unconsciously held their breaths so that they wouldn't breathe into the other's face. Then, as quickly as it came, the magic moment shattered. Shunsui was first to come to his senses.

"Sorry!" Shunsui said sheepishly, scrambling to get off of his friend, horrified at the compromising position they were in. Much as he would love to have Juushiro beneath him, he didn't trust himself to remain sane for long if he were to lie on top of his semi-naked friend for even a minute longer. He wanted to use his usual humor to diffuse the awkwardness, but he couldn't think of a way to make a joke out of this without touching on the subject of his feelings for Juushiro, and he knew how much Juushiro hated that.

Juushiro, on the other hand, was so distracted that he didn't even hear Shunsui's apology. As soon as Shunsui landed on him, he had felt something hard against his thigh, then, when Shunsui bumped against him in his attempt to get up, Juushiro felt the unmistakable hardness brush against his thigh again—it wasn't difficult to guess what it was. He was shocked, naturally, that Shunsui was sporting an erection, but what shocked him even more was how his own pulse quickened with that realization. Before he could even understand what he was doing, he'd reached his hand between them and grabbed Shunsui's collar.

When Shunsui found that he couldn't get up, his first thought was that his robe must've snagged on something that Juushiro was wearing, then his eyes widened in surprise when he saw Juushiro's hand on his clothes. Even more surprising was the look on his friend's face—Juushiro's normally pale cheeks were flushed, and his eyes held a glint that made Shunsui's heart beat wildly in his chest. Shunsui fell silent in confusion and simply stared at his friend.

For a few seconds, the small bathroom was eerily quiet except for the soft panting from the two men.

Juushiro stared back at his friend. He felt Shunsui's heartbeat speed up, and for reasons he did not understand, his heartbeat quickened in response. He was painfully aware that while Shunsui was fully clothed, he was only partially covered by a towel.

Shunsui blinked. He knew that he probably looked like an idiot staring dumbly at Juushiro like this, but he didn't know what else to do. He had no idea what was going on, but whatever it was, it felt really good. He could feel Juushiro's body heat through his thin robe, and suddenly realized that Juushiro's chest was bare. An intense wave of arousal rushed through his body, and as his eyes began to slide close, he leaned closer to Juushiro's face.

Juushiro saw Shunsui's expression and knew what was coming. Instead of pushing his friend off, he closed his eyes and raised his head to meet Shunsui's lips.

When their lips made contact, both of them froze for a second, then Juushiro surprised Shunsui by initiating a kiss, taking Shunsui's lower lip between his lips. The warmth from Juushiro's wet mouth shook Shunsui out of his hazy mind and he responded, tilting his head to the side to return the caress with his lips. In the shock of the moment, both of them forgot to breathe, and soon had to break the kiss to take in deep breaths.

"Why?" Shunsui asked in a whisper, utterly confused about what had just happened.

Juushiro remained silent for a few seconds, then, bringing a hand to cup Shunsui's face, he said softly, "I'm sorry that I've kept you waiting for so long."

Shunsui couldn't believe his ears. _No way._ He propped himself up on his palms and stared down at Juushiro. "But I thought—" he began.

"I've been blind," Juushiro said, cutting him off mid-sentence. "All this while, you've been by my side, and I've never...I was convinced that you were just joking..."

"I've never been more serious in my life," Shunsui said immediately, sounding a little indignant.

Juushiro laughed softly. " _Now_ I can tell," he said, looking up at his friend, affection clear in his green eyes.

Shunsui fell silent to quietly savor the moment. Oh, he had fantasized about this, how Juushiro might one day return his feelings, but he had never expected it to actually happen. And now that it was happening, he was at a loss for words. In his dreams he would proceed to make an epic speech professing his love for Juushiro, and he would sweep Juushiro off his feet with a charming smile and a deep, passionate kiss. Instead, much to his horror, all he felt now was something suspiciously like tears springing to his eyes. Shocked and embarrassed, he turned his face away from Juushiro to hide his eyes.

Despite Shunsui's efforts, Juushiro caught the sudden reddening of his friend's eyes, and his heart melted. This was not something that could be faked, and once again he wondered how he could've been so oblivious all this time.

"Come here," Juushiro whispered, turning Shunsui's head back to face him.

Then, once again, their lips met.


	6. Chapter 6

Midway into the kiss, Shunsui suddenly remembered why they were lying on the bathroom floor in the first place. The thought yanked him rudely back into reality and he pulled away reluctantly.

"We shouldn't..." he said, even though his body told him the opposite. "You just woke up, I don't wanna...you could get..."

Juushiro propped himself up on his elbows. "Oh, come on, you can't do that," he said in disbelief.

Shunsui raised his eyebrows in confusion. "Can't do what?"

"Can't do... _this_..." Juushiro gestured to his own mostly-naked body. The towel was loosely tangled between his legs and just so happened to drape gracefully across his hips, but there was no mistaking what it was hiding—Shunsui wasn't the only one riled up in the room. "You can't... _you know_...then just leave it like that."

For a moment, Shunsui looked like he was biting his lip to refrain from bursting into laughter, and Juushiro immediately felt his own cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

"Gotta finish what I started, huh?" Shunsui asked with a grin, then he added, "Though I must say, technically _I_ didn't start it, the floor did."

Juushiro scowled. " _Liar._ You were hard before you hit the floor."

"Hah! In that case, _you_ started it," Shunsui said, his grin widening. "Moaning and groaning while you bathe..." Then, closing his eyes, he did an exaggerated imitation of Juushiro's moans.

Juushiro felt the tips of his ear burn. "Whatever," he muttered in a soft voice. Immediately, he felt himself enveloped by a pair of strong arms, and a chin rested on his head.

"Sorry, didn't mean to make fun of you," Shunsui said, giving Juushiro an apologetic squeeze, knowing that he had gone a little overboard in teasing his more conservative friend. "Trust me, I want to... _finish_ this, but you're sick."

"I'm not that weak," Juushiro replied, frowning indignantly.

"But— _mmmph!_ " Shunsui's protest turned into a surprised moan when Juushiro reached between his legs and touched him through his clothes. His arms tightened around Juushiro's shoulders when Juushiro increased the pressure of his strokes. "Sto—stop..." Shunsui frowned, but despite himself, his breath began to quicken again.

"If you're that worried, just be gentle," Juushiro whispered, keeping his hand busy.

Shunsui made one last attempt at holding himself back, then, a well-placed squeeze by Juushiro made the decision for him. Grunting, he grabbed his friend's wrist and stood up, dragging Juushiro to his feet.

"What—?" Juushiro began, but his question morphed into a surprised yelp as he was lifted bodily off the floor. "Hey!"

Supporting Juushiro's full weight in his arms, Shunsui grinned at him. "Well, I'm not going to _finish_ it on that damn floor."

* * *

It was a good thing that the bed was only several steps from the bathroom door, because the combination of excitement, nervousness, impatience, and not to mention Juushiro's weight, made walking rather challenging for Shunsui. When they finally climbed onto the mattress, they were both out of breath and barely able to keep their hands off of each other.

Shunsui had the advantage of Juushiro being almost naked already, so he didn't have to go through the frustration of trying to untie an _obi_ with trembling fingers. Juushiro, on the other hand, had to struggle to get Shunsui out of his clothes. After fumbling for more than a minute, Juushiro growled in annoyance, sending Shunsui into a fit of amused laughter. Naturally, he was immediately rewarded with a murderous glare.

Still chuckling, Shunsui gently pushed his friend's hands away and sat up. Juushiro sat back on his heels and watched, mesmerized, as Shunsui began to undress. First, the thin sash came off, giving Juushiro a peek of Shunsui's infamous chest hair as his robes fell open slightly. Fixing a mischievous look on Juushiro's flushed cheeks, Shunsui slipped his robe off, one shoulder at a time, at an agonizingly slow pace.

Juushiro swallowed as he took in the little striptease; unlike himself, who was on the thinner side, Shunsui had broad shoulders and, along with it, a wide, muscled chest. He was taller and heavier, too, and when they sat across of each other on the small bed, the differences in their physical traits became all the more obvious.

"So, did I pass?" Shunsui asked with a grin.

"Huh?" Juushiro blinked.

Shunsui flexed his biceps and made an exaggerated show of his toned torso. "You were looking at me like you were giving me an exam. So...did I pass the quality check?"

Juushiro blushed at the jab. "Of course," he replied with a smile, then he reached out a hand to touch Shunsui. Running his fingers along Shunsui's collar bone, Juushiro felt a rush of excitement. there was so much to explore.

"Umm..." Shunsui said, his playful expression replaced by an awkward smile. "Before we go on, I...uhh...have something to confess."

Juushiro blinked again. _Uh oh._

"I've sort of...never done this before," Shunsui said, grinning sheepishly. Then, when Juushiro's mouth fell open, he added hurriedly, "I know what to do, I've just...I just thought...you know, just wanna let you know in advance."

"You've never done _what_ before?" Juushiro asked, unable to contain his surprise. He had no experience himself, of course, besides the rudimentary knowledge of kissing, which he had already used up in their brief liplock earlier. Shunsui seemed sure of himself just now, and as far as Juushiro was concerned, Shunsui was a good kisser. Then again, it wasn't like he had anyone else to compare to.

Shunsui blushed slightly. "Uhh, _this_..." He gestured to Juushiro and himself, then pointed to the bed.

As comprehension dawned, Juushiro's eyes widened in surprise and disbelief.

"Hey, just because I'm popular with the ladies doesn't mean I sleep around, okay?" Shunsui said, putting on a hurt look, correctly interpreting his friend's unspoken question.

"Not even one?" Juushiro couldn't resist asking even as he felt an oncoming bout of laughter.

Shunsui gave him a pained look.

Juushiro began to chuckle softly as a mixture of giddiness and relief washed over him. This was unbelievable—Shunsui, the famous playboy, a virgin? Juushiro had been feeling more than a little nervous and self-conscious, but he wasn't alone after all.

"Oh come on," Shunsui protested, feeling a bit hurt as he assumed that Juushiro was laughing at his lack of experience. "This is not funny."

"No, no," Juushiro panted. "It's good." Then he grinned. "I'm just really glad that we're both..."

Relieved, Shunsui's grin returned. "Well yeah, I've kinda figured that you're—" He ducked in time to avoid a smack on the head from Juushiro. "We have a lot to learn, then." Then, he reached out and pulled the slighter man into his arms and fell onto his back on the soft mattress, dragging Juushiro along.

Once he landed on his back, Shunsui did a quick flip and ended up on top of Juushiro. He held his breath as he looked down at the sight that he had dreamed of countless of times. Experienced or not, he knew exactly what he _wanted_ to do to this body.

Supporting his weight on one elbow and both knees, Shunsui let his free hand roam. He began, slowly, from Juushiro's flushed cheeks, then traced his fingers down the side of Juushiro's face, along his jawline, and down his delicate neck. Juushiro instinctively tilted his head to the side, exposing more of his neck, and Shunsui took it as a signal to replace his fingers with his mouth. A long, appreciative moan confirmed his assumption.

He smiled against Juushiro's skin. _Perhaps this is not going to be that difficult after all_.

The wetness from Shunsui's trail of kisses raised goosebumps on Juushiro's skin even though he felt feverishly warm. Shunsui's touches were a little ticklish because they were so light—perhaps Shunsui was afraid to hurt him—so he grabbed Shunsui's hand and pressed it down firmer against his body, guiding it to places that he knew that he liked based on years of experience of...self exploration.

Shunsui raised himself higher and angled his body as his hand travelled downwards, gliding across the flat plane of Juushiro's abdomen, savoring the smooth skin against his own sword-calloused palm. He loved how Juushiro arched into his touch—he felt lucky that Juushiro was not shy about showing what he liked, because he sure wasn't shy himself.

Juushiro hissed when Shunsui's palm brush lightly over the tip of his arousal and heard a soft triumphant chuckle above him. He opened his mouth to tell Shunsui not to feel so full of himself, but Shunsui chose that very moment to wrap his fist around Juushiro, and his words dissolved into a series of breathless moans.

Swimming in a haze of pleasure, Juushiro pulled Shunsui down, pressing his body firmly against the larger man's, then, groping blindly, he reached down to find Shunsui. Feeling Juushiro's light touches, Shunsui arched his hips to meet those roaming fingers, eager to feel them around himself. It didn't take long for Juushiro to do just that, and the jolt of pleasure that went through Shunsui's body made his limbs weak. Not wanting to fall on Juushiro and crush him, Shunsui lowered himself sideways on the bed and guided Juushiro to turn to the side as well.

Now lying on their sides facing each other, Shunsui hooked a leg over Juushiro's and pulled the man closer, rubbing their hips together. Desperate to bring the other to completion, they stroked each other, their movements becoming faster, more erratic with every passing minute.

As Shunsui felt the familiar coil of tension in his gut, he snaked an arm underneath Juushiro's neck and wrapped it around the man shoulders. Juushiro instinctively moved closer and nuzzled his friend's neck.

"I'm almost there," Shunsui whispered urgently, tightening his embrace. "Almost..."

Juushiro simply grunted in response, his mind too blurry, his body too close to the edge to form coherent sentences. Then, with a breathless cry, he shuddered against Shunsui's chest, spilling himself over Shunsui's fist, their stomachs, and the sheets.

Juushiro's fists tightened on their own accord as he rode out his climax, and Shunsui immediately followed suit, moaning into Juushiro's hair.

As their breaths gradually returned to normal, the two of them lay there in each other's arms, savoring the first time they shared such an intimate moment. It hadn't lasted very long, but it was something they would never forget.


	7. Chapter 7

Juushiro's body was pleasantly warm in his embrace, serving as a hot water bottle in the otherwise cold room. They were both sweaty, and the sheets stuck to their body, but neither cared. Their clumsy, slightly awkward attempt at pleasuring each other for the first time left them giddy with a sense of triumph.

"Did you like it?" Shunsui asked, running his fingers through the shock of slightly damp white hair nestled against his cheek.

Juushiro nodded. "Did you?"

Shunsui chuckled, burying his mouth and nose into his friend's hair. "Are you kidding?" he asked in a muffled voice. "I've never felt so good." _Yeah, so good that I want some more._ But he bit his tongue— _he can't have Juushiro thinking that he was a horny teenager now, can he?_

Juushiro sighed happily, secretly feeling proud of himself.

"What did you like the most?" Shunsui asked, sliding his palm up and down the pale body pressed against him. The feeling of Juushiro pulsing in his fist lingered in that hand—just the thought of it sent a course of renewed desire through his veins. _Yeah, want more. Now._

"Mmm...I like..." Juushiro thought for a bit. "I like how you kissed my neck, especially below the ear."

"Mmm...like this?" Shunsui murmured, rolling Juushiro over to expose the side of his neck. He ducked down and took Juushiro's earlobe between his lips, nibbled on it gently, then slid his tongue below it, feeling the slightly salty taste of Juushiro's skin. Remembering what he'd done earlier, he began to suck gently, tugging at the sensitive skin with his lips.

 _Not a good idea, old boy_ , Shunsui's inner voice commented casually. _Unless, of course, you don't mind him calling you a horny teenager._

Juushiro let out a low hiss. "Mmm hmm."

Ignoring the kind reminder from his subconscious mind, Shunsui continued to kiss down the length of the pale neck, leaving the same wet trail as he had done not half an hour ago.

"Mmm..." Juushiro mumbled softly, shivering under Shunsui's touch. "Mmm...what are you doing?" He glanced sideways, searching for Shunsui's face.

Shunsui was too busy leaving his mark on the junction between Juushiro's shoulder and neck to respond. The soft slurping sounds from Shunsui's mouth made Juushiro squirm, and despite himself, he felt a familiar stir deep in his belly. His eyes widened in surprise at his own reaction— _but I just...!_

"Shunsui?" he muttered, hands fumbling for Shunsui's waist.

Shunsui felt the ticklish sensation of Juushiro's fingers, and with a small moan, grabbed it and wrapped the man's hand around his own waist, pulling Juushiro closer in the process. Guided by natural instincts, Juushiro hooked one leg over Shunsui's leg and tugged, urging his friend to climb on top of him.

"Mmm..." Shunsui's palm searched for a firm spot next to Juushiro's body to rest on, then with a grunt, he hoisted his leg over Juushiro's body and straddled the narrow hips below him.

"Are you tired?" Shunsui asked in a breathy whisper, his eyes hooded and glassy. Whatever concern he had about being teased by Juushiro was lost, washed away by the delicious warmth of the body against the bottom of his thighs.

Juushiro frowned at the question. "Oh no...oh no you don't," he said in a warning tone. "Why'd you even bother asking if you've already started?" When Shunsui gave him a lopsided grin, he gave the man a playful swat on the head, earning an exaggerated cry of pain from Shunsui.

Propping himself up on his elbow, Juushiro held Shunsui's chin in a firm grip and pulled the man closer, crushing their lips together. Just before he broke the kiss, Juushiro gave his friend's lower lip a quick nip with his teeth. "Don't you dare do... _this_ ," he gestured to his re-awakened arousal. "And then leave it like that."

Grinding down on Juushiro's hips, Shunsui bent down and pushed Juushiro onto the bed, then said in a teasing tone, "Guess I'll have to finish what I started, huh?"

Heart hammering in his chest, Juushiro looked up at the man towering over him. Shunsui's shaggy brown hair spilled over his eyes when he leaned down, but it did not hide the hunger on his face. If anything, it gave him an aggressive, untamed look, adding a touch of danger to his normally open, friendly face. Juushiro felt a shudder of arousal through his body as he lay there in Shunsui's shadow, his mind already imagining the things that Shunsui would do to him.

Speaking of which...what _was_ Shunsui going to do to him? They'd just done the hand-thing...were they going to...

"Can I try it?" Shunsui asked, echoing Juushiro's unspoken question.

Juushiro's face turned a deep pink as he recalled the feeling of Shunsui in his hand—he had serious doubts about whether it could fit, yet he couldn't help feeling a rush of excitement. Not trusting himself to speak without stuttering, he nodded.

Shunsui's face immediately lit up. "Hang on," he said, then—much to Juushiro's surprise—he hopped off the bed and went to the messy pile on the floor that was his robe. After rummaging around for a bit, he stood up holding a tiny bottle.

Juushiro recognized his own massage oil at once—the one he had lent to Shunsui almost a year ago. "Hey!" he said indignantly, sitting up. "You planned this all along!"

Shunsui's mouth fell open. "I swear I didn't! I brought it along so that I could return it to you!" He climbed back onto the bed and knelt with his legs on his friend's sides. "It's true!"

Juushiro snaked an arm behind Shunsui's head and yanked him closer by his hair. "Right," he murmured, pressing his lips against Shunsui's. "You've been meaning to return it to me for one whole year, hmm? Pervert."

"Mmm hmm," Shunsui replied into Juushiro's mouth. Then, slowly, he once again guided Juushiro onto his back. Shifting to the side, he coaxed Juushiro to spread his legs and bend his knees, then he carefully positioned himself in between.

"You know what you're doing, right?" Juushiro couldn't resist taking a jab at his friend, who was frowning and peering intently between his legs.

Shunsui shot him a dirty look. "It's not like there are a lot of options down here," he retorted, fumbling with the bottle cap. Carefully, he tipped the very expensive bottle of oil and let a small amount pool in his palm. Then, hands trembling ever-so-slightly with anticipation, he slicked up his fingers and reached for Juushiro.

The jarring coldness from the slippery liquid sent a jolt through Juushiro's body, and he hissed in surprise. If it were not for his pride that prevented him from showing his nervousness in front of Shunsui, he would be a blabbering mess right now. As it was, he held his breath and waited...and waited...and waited...then, just as he was going to ask if Shunsui had fallen asleep, he felt a burning pressure at his entrance. His hips twitched involuntarily.

"Sorry, sorry..." Shunsui said, holding Juushiro's knee with one hand for support as he concentrated on sliding his finger in as gently as he could.

"Is it supposed to hurt like this?" Juushiro asked between his teeth, frowning as his muscles protested. If a finger felt so uncomfortable...how was he supposed to take in...?

"Umm, from what I heard, yes?" Shunsui replied with a worried frown. "In the beginning, at least. Just...gimme a few more minutes, then if it still hurts like this, we'll stop, okay?"

"Mmm..." Juushiro groaned, forcing himself to keep still. Just as he began to adjust to the one finger, the burning pain returned along with the sensation of the addition of another finger. His fists tightened on the sheets unconsciously, tugging the ends of the sheets out from underneath the mattress.

Shunsui's hand trembled as he slowly stretched his fingers, twisting them around the way he'd _heard_ people say he should. Already he could feel Juushiro beginning to relax around him, and he added another finger. Immediately, Juushiro tensed up again, his body instinctively working to expel the invasion.

"Relax, shhhh..." Shunsui whispered. He could feel sweat sliding down the side of his head along his hairline. His groin tingled, fanned by his imagination, which had run wild ever since he felt Juushiro tight heat around his fingers. With his free hand, he slowly ran his palm along the length of his partner's arousal. He immediately heard a sharp intake of breath, a slight tightening around his fingers, then, ever so slowly, Juushiro began to relax.

It felt like a long time, but as Shunsui's hand continued to stroke him, the pain gradually receded and in its place came a wave of steady, throbbing pleasure with every thrust of Shunsui's fingers. Heart thumping wildly in nervousness, Juushiro arched his back and pushed down onto Shunsui's hand in a silent signal that it was okay to proceed.

Keeping up the pumping motion of his hand, Shunsui withdrew his fingers and gently nudged Juushiro's knees apart. "We'll take it slow," he whispered, gliding his palm reassuringly along the smooth skin on Juushiro's inner thigh. "If it hurts, we stop."

Juushiro nodded.

Hands trembling slightly, Shunsui drizzled more oil onto his palm and coated himself. Finally, _finally_ , he positioned himself between Juushiro's legs and pushed forward.

Juushiro immediately winced, but he kept his hips still, and with another gentle thrust, he felt Shunsui enter him. He let out an involuntary moan at the renewed pain, but somewhere inside the pain was that throbbing pleasure that he had felt earlier.

Shunsui's arms came up to rest on the elbows next to Juushiro's head. His lower body pressed firmly against Juushiro's hips, trapping the slighter man beneath him. Rocking his hips in small, tender movements, Shunsui slowly slid deeper and deeper.

"How are you doing?" Shunsui asked softly.

"Better," came the barely audible reply. The combination of the warm friction from Shunsui's stomach on his erection and the feeling of Shunsui throbbing inside of him was beginning to overwhelm Juushiro's senses, and he had to struggle to remain coherent.

"Am I doing this right? Do you feel good?" Shunsui asked again, anxious to pleasure his partner. He was in heaven himself, reveling in the smooth, velvety heat that held him in a tight embrace.

 _Why is he trying to hold a conversation_ now _, of all times?_ Juushiro groaned as his eyes rolled back into his head.

"Do you like it?" Shunsui panted, unconsciously picking up speed as tension began to build. He felt a little worried—he had promised to finish what he started, he mustn't come before Juushiro did. But— _oh god_ —he clenched his fists, this felt so good, Juushiro was so tight...he bit his lower lip and forced himself to slow down. _Okay, much better._

"Faster," Juushiro whispered, digging his nails into Shunsui's back.

Shunsui moaned. _Not good._ He snapped his hips, thrusting deeper but maintained his speed, hoping that depth could appease Juushiro's need.

" _Faster_ ," Juushiro repeated, his voice broken but loud. "Fast...I...almost..." The rest of his sentence dissolved into nonsensical noises, and he raised his hips, grinding himself against Shunsui, increasing the hot, delicious friction, pushing himself closer, closer...

The command, and the knowledge that Juushiro was nearing his climax, sent Shunsui into a feverish pace, and he rolled his hips, the muscles in his arms straining under his weight. The moans spilling from Juushiro's lips were the only things he knew now, and they were like a physical force, urging him further and further towards the edge.

Juushiro's cries became louder, faster, more breathless, and then finally, with a hoarse scream of Shunsui's name, he arched his back and stiffened against Shunsui's body, spilling himself between their bodies. Hearing his own name like this was all Shunsui needed to tumble off the edge, and he came violently, pulsing and throbbing inside his lover as the tight muscles clamped down on him.

* * *

It was a long time before either one of them stirred, and that was only after Shunsui mumbled "the healers will be coming to check on you soon".

"Ugh," Juushiro muttered, feeling the sheets stick to his body as he sat up. "I need another bath."

Shunsui snickered, thinking back of Juushiro's previous bath. "Try not to fall," he said with a lazy grin, rolling onto his back. "Otherwise we might not finish in time before the healers arrive."

Juushiro rolled his eyes as he stood up on wobbly legs. Walking around the crumpled lumps of clothes on the floor, he made his way to the bathroom.

Once again, the sight of his newly-white hair brought him to a halt in front of the mirror. Feeling slightly wistful, he ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. A large hand rested on his shoulder and squeezed.

"White suits you, _Shiro-chan_ ," Shunsui said, ruffling his lover's hair. "And..." He wasn't done. "Think of how well it would go with your captain's haori!"

Juushiro snorted in amusement. "You sure think very highly of me," he said, poking Shunsui in the ribs.

"Well of course you won't be the only one here wearing a haori!" Shunsui said, his grin widening. "I think it will go very nicely with my grey eyes, no?"

Juushiro smiled back. "Of course it will."

Their eyes met, and in that brief moment, a silent promise was made. Yes, they would both wear captain's haori one day and stand side-by-side as comrades and friends. And lovers, Juushiro thought happily, reaching out to wrap an arm around Shunsui's waist.

Comrades, friends, and lovers.


End file.
